I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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