So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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