I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
