Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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