stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize