How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
