dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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