Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
