what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
