you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
