Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
