I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
