are you still at the devil's house?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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