He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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