He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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