Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
