you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
