We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
