it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I need a beard to bite.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
