I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
