5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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