I wannas sexs uuuuu
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
