You're completely useless in the revolution.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
