There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I am available for nakedness
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
