I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
this boner is exhausting
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So much rum. So many feels.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
