Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
