He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
