OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Farmville is her only friend.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
