i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
