You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And then my night got REAL pukey
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
