I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
