Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
