Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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