But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
