I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
