I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
