ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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