I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I don't think brook has ever known best
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
