A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
