Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
