just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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