Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
