she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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