whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
