3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
