It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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