quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
