just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize