Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
