Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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