I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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