That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
