Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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