She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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