Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
