I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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