I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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