I don't think brook has ever known best
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
A bitchslap is in order.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize