I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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