Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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