her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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