You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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