I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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